He Knows the Door to My Soul and Who Forgot to Novel 84

In Chapter 84 of “He Knows the Door to My Soul and Who Forgot to Novel 84,” Natalia wakes up to the morning light, initially feeling comforted by the warmth, reminiscent of her home in Ashmoor. However, as reality sets in, memories of the previous night overwhelm her, particularly her encounter with Andrei, which leaves her feeling both exhilarated and horrified. The recollection of their intimate moments strikes her like a shockwave, leading her to question her choices and the consequences of her actions.

As she processes her feelings, Natalia is relieved to find that Andrei did not stay the night, which provides her with a small sense of comfort amidst the chaos. Despite this, she grapples with the guilt and confusion of having crossed a line she had worked hard to avoid for years. The influence of drugs from the previous night looms over her thoughts, but deeper down, she acknowledges a part of her that craved the connection with Andrei, despite the danger he represents.

Determined to escape the situation, Natalia prepares to leave, feeling the weight of her actions pressing down on her. She finds a t-shirt and sweatpants left by Andrei, which stirs mixed emotions within her. After taking a shower to cleanse herself both physically and mentally, she resolves to maintain her dignity and erase the evidence of her encounter. The remnants of her dress become a symbol of her turmoil, and she decides to burn them, transforming the tangible reminders of her night with Andrei into ash.

Finally, with her resolve firm and a need to return to her children and the safety of Ashmoor, Natalia steps toward the door. Despite her hunger, her primary focus is on putting distance between herself and Andrei, seeking solace in the familiarity of her old life, while the memories of the night linger like a haunting shadow.

**He Knows the Door to My Soul and Who Forgot to Novel 84**

**Chapter 84**

**Natalia**

The first rays of sunlight filtered through the curtains, wrapping me in a gentle warmth that felt almost like a hug from an old friend. For a fleeting moment, I allowed myself to believe I was back in the comforting embrace of my own bed in Ashmoor, where the world felt safe and uncomplicated.

But as I blinked my eyes open, the reality of my surroundings crashed over me like a tidal wave, and the memories of the previous night flooded back in vivid detail.

The banquet. The drugs. My public confession.

And then, of course, Andrei. Oh, Andrei.

The recollection of his hands exploring my body, the warmth of his mouth against mine, and the overwhelming sensation of him inside me struck me all at once, like a speeding car colliding with my very essence. I shot up in bed, clutching the sheets tightly against my bare chest, my heart racing.

What on earth had I done?

Glancing around the room with frantic eyes, I felt a surge of relief wash over me when I noticed the other side of the bed was empty. It looked untouched, as if no one had lain there at all, which suggested that he had not spent the night with me after all. The thought of him returning to Lilith’s side felt like a strange mercy, a small comfort in the chaos of my mind.

I collapsed back onto the pillows, staring at the ceiling, my thoughts racing as I replayed the events of the previous night like a broken record. I had slept with Andrei. I had crossed a line I had desperately tried to avoid for five long years. This was the man I had been hiding from, the man who had once tried to have me killed.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I muttered under my breath, pressing the heels of my palms against my eyes in a futile attempt to block out the reality of my actions. It had to be the drugs. Whatever David had slipped into my drink was still coursing through my veins, clouding my judgment, making me reckless and impulsive.

Even if, by the time Andrei had been inside me, I had felt completely sober.

Even if I had been acutely aware of every decision I made.

Even if a traitorous part of me had savored every moment of our encounter.

“Stop lying to yourself,” my wolf, Onyx, growled within me. “You wanted him. You’ve always wanted him.”

I pushed her down, refusing to entertain her words. This was her fault; she had been the one to urge me toward Andrei last night. I wouldn’t take the blame for this. I couldn’t.

But there was one undeniable truth: I had to escape this place. I needed to return to Ashmoor, to my children, to my life. I had to bury the memory of last night deep beneath the frozen ground where it could never resurface.

The remnants of the dress I had worn last night lay in tatters on the floor, and I certainly couldn’t stroll around Andrei’s house in the nude. As I scanned the room, my eyes landed on a small pile of clothing at the foot of the bed. A simple gray t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants.

He must have left them for me. The thought that he had cared enough to provide me something to wear stirred an unexpected flutter in my heart, but I quickly squashed that feeling. He was merely being practical; he didn’t want the evidence of our tryst to be discovered, perhaps even more than I did.

After all, my relationship with Lilith was a facade. Maybe no one else knew that, but I did.

As for Andrei and Lilith…

I shook my head, trying to dispel those thoughts. They were irrelevant right now.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and padded to the adjoining bathroom, wincing at the soreness that throbbed between my legs. It had been five years since I had been intimate with anyone, and Andrei was certainly not a gentle lover.

Turning on the shower, I waited for the water to heat up before stepping under the spray. The warm water cascaded over me, and I scrubbed my skin vigorously, as if trying to wash away the very memories of last night. I needed to feel clean, to feel like myself again.

By the time I emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, I felt a little more composed. My head was clearer, my body felt fresher, and my resolve had solidified. I was determined to walk out of this room with my dignity intact, as if nothing had ever transpired.

I dressed swiftly, pulling on the t-shirt and sweatpants. Even though they were freshly laundered, the fabric still carried a faint trace of Andrei’s scent, and I tried to ignore how it made my wolf stir restlessly within me.

The remnants of my dress still lay on the floor, damning evidence of what had occurred. I couldn’t leave them here. What if someone stumbled upon them and pieced together the story?

Gathering the torn fabric in my arms, I hurried over to the small fireplace nestled in the corner of the room. It was cold and empty, yet logs and kindling lay neatly beside it, as if waiting for this very moment.

I arranged the scraps of green fabric atop the kindling and struck a match from the box resting on the mantel. The flame caught eagerly, and I watched as it devoured the expensive material, transforming it from green to black, then to gray, and finally to ash.

Only when the last remnants of the dress had turned to dust did I finally rise and make my way to the door. My stomach growled loudly, a reminder that I hadn’t eaten since the day before, but food would have to wait. All I wanted was to escape this house, to put distance between myself and Andrei, and to return to the safety of Ashmoor.

As I stepped through the door, the weight of last night’s decisions clung to me like a shroud, a reminder of the boundaries I had crossed and the lines I had blurred. The chaos within me began to settle, replaced by a steely resolve to reclaim my life. I could no longer afford to dwell on the intoxicating allure of Andrei or the dangerous spark that ignited between us. My heart ached for my children, for the simplicity and purity of my life in Ashmoor, far removed from the complications of desire and betrayal. I had to protect myself, to shield my heart from the tempest that Andrei represented.

Yet, as I walked away from that house, a part of me mourned the loss of what could have been. The connection we shared, however fleeting, had awakened a yearning I thought long buried. I couldn’t deny the thrill of our encounter, nor the deep-seated desire that had been ignited within me. But ultimately, I knew where my loyalties lay. I was a mother first, and my love for my children would always eclipse the shadowy allure of a man who had once been my enemy. With every step I took away from that place, I felt the door to my soul close a little tighter, sealing away the memories of Andrei and the tumultuous night we had shared, as I focused on the path ahead—one that led me back to the safety and love of my family.

**What to Expect in Next Chapter?**

As Natalia steels herself for the escape from Andrei’s home, the tension in the air thickens, setting the stage for a whirlwind of emotions and unforeseen consequences. In the next chapter, readers can anticipate Natalia grappling with the aftermath of her reckless night, as her internal struggle intensifies. The haunting memories of her encounter with Andrei will linger, forcing her to confront feelings she has long buried. Will she be able to suppress the undeniable connection that sparked between them, or will her heart betray her once more? With her wolf, Onyx, urging her to embrace her desires, Natalia’s journey toward self-discovery will take unexpected twists that could alter the course of her life.

Moreover, the stakes are higher than ever as Natalia’s escape plan unfolds. The looming presence of Lilith and the consequences of Natalia’s actions threaten to unravel the fragile facade she has built around her life. As she navigates the treacherous waters of her emotions and the dangerous dynamics between her, Andrei, and Lilith, readers will be left on the edge of their seats, wondering if she can truly reclaim her life in Ashmoor. Will she find the strength to confront her past and make peace with her choices, or will the shadows of her decisions follow her home? As the chapter draws nearer, the anticipation builds for a heart-pounding exploration of love, betrayal, and the quest for redemption.

Sara Lili

Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.