He Knows the Door to My Soul and Who Forgot to Novel 17

Natalia reflects on the surreal experience of planning her own funeral, a process devoid of guidance and filled with quiet, somber decisions. Sitting with Damon, she reviews the forged documents that will declare her dead, allowing her to disappear. Among these is her wedding ring, a symbol of a loveless, contractual marriage to Andrei, which now feels more like a grave marker than a token of love.

At the funeral, attended only by close friends and remaining guests from Moonshadow, Natalia observes the mourners from the shadows. Lilith appears poised and calm, while Andrei looks hollow and drained, seemingly overwhelmed by grief. Grace approaches Natalia with a mix of suspicion and sympathy, revealing her mistrust of Lilith and her belief that Natalia was wronged rather than at fault. Grace’s conflicted feelings about Damon and her apology add tension to the gathering.

As the pyre burns, Andrei speaks softly, lost in sorrow, while Grace quietly leaves. Natalia remains hidden until the fire dies down and Lilith leads Andrei away. Later that night, unable to sleep, Natalia encounters a drunken Andrei in the garden. Their brief, emotional interaction reveals his pain and longing for her and their unborn child, but Natalia maintains her distance, describing herself as a ghost.

The encounter is interrupted by Lilith, whose presence and comforting words to Andrei make it clear that he cannot let go of her, not Natalia. Natalia watches from the shadows, realizing that despite the pain and loss, Andrei’s heart belongs to Lilith, leaving her isolated and unseen.

NATALIA

It was a strange thing, planning your own funeral.

There was no playbook for it. No checklist. No eulogy to write. Just decisions to make in hushed tones–what kind of coffin, what kind of crowd, what kind of lies would be carved into the stone.

I sat across from Damon in the study, the morning sun stretching long shadows across the floor. Between us lay the worn leather folder he kept his private affairs in. Inside: a forged death certificate, a falsified coroner’s report, and a set of identification documents for the deceased woman we would pass off as me.

She had once tried to kill me.

A rogue with my height, my build. Mutilated beyond recognition during the ambush. I didn’t feel bad about it, her choices had led her down this path. The convenience too useful to ignore.

Damon slid the final piece across the desk.

My wedding ring.

I looked at it for a long time, the platinum band dull in the light, scratched in places from years of wear. It had never felt like mine. Not truly.

The byproduct of a transactional, contract marriage. Still, I had loved Andrie. And had hoped it might one day be a metal circlet imbued with his love for me.

But now?

Now it would be my gravestone.

I curled my fingers around it and passed it back.

Гон

Damon took it gently. “Once it’s public,” he said, “you’ll be gone. For good.”

“I already am.”

He didn’t argue.

That afternoon, they announced the ceremony would be held by moonset. A quiet funeral, just for the inner circle and the remaining guests from Moonshadow. The official statement would go out the next morning–Natalia, ex- Luna of Moonshadow, confirmed dead after a tragic rogue attack ran her off the road and into the sea.

They didn’t need to lie about the grief. There was more than enough to go around.

I dressed plainly in black and slipped into the shadows behind the gathering, my hood drawn low over my face. No one gave me a second glance. Why would they? I was already dead.

The pyre stood tall in the clearing, branches stacked with dry herbs and strips of cloth. They’d placed the body in a closed box–sealed tightly, unviewable. “Out of respect,” Damon had said aloud.

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But the truth was simpler.

They needed the illusion to be complete.

I stood behind a cedar tree and watched as the mourners arrived. Most wore dark colors. Lilith, of course, came dressed in a soft, silvery blue–no veil, no tears. Just a somber smile and a hand resting lightly on Andrei’s arm.

I watched his face.

He looked hollow.

Drained.

Like the wind could knock him over and he wouldn’t care.

For a moment, I wanted to believe he was grieving me.

Until Grace stepped quietly beside me, her voice low.

“I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

I blinked. She wore a gray shawl over her shoulders and a tight, uncomfortable expression. She didn’t look at me directly.

“Thought you’d be hiding in the woods,” she added. “Or halfway to the border by now.”

I didn’t respond.

She glanced around, then lowered her voice again. “I thought you got pregnant and dumped the mess in Damon’s lap.”

That made me flinch.

“I thought you were one of those girls,” she said, eyes narrowing. “The kind who screws up with one Alpha and tries to trap another.”

My fists clenched inside my cloak.

“But,” she sighed, “I was wrong.”

Her voice dropped further. “You didn’t screw up. You were screwed over.”

I finally looked at her.

Grace nodded toward Lilith. “I don’t like that one,” she said bluntly. “Manipulative. Conniving.”

I nodded. There was no disputing that.

“She’s what I thought you were,” Grace finally added. I almost laughed. “But you should know, I have no intention of giving up Damon.”

I let out a soft breath of bitter amusement. “He’s not mine to take.”

Grace shrugged. “That remains to be seen.

I didn’t reply.

She looked at me again, this time with something closer to guilt. “I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t much. But it was enough.

The fire sparked, drawing both our attention.

Someone had lit the pyre.

The flames began to climb, eating through the branches with hungry ease.

Andrei stepped forward.

He spoke over the pyre, soft words I couldn’t hear from where I stood, staring at the flames like they might give him an answer.

Grace walked away without another word.

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I stayed hidden in the shadows until the fire burned low, until Lilith tucked her hand around Andrei’s elbow and gently led him away.

And then I left too.

***

That night, I couldn’t sleep.

The air was too thick, the room too still. I paced by the window for hours, checking the clock again and again. By three a.m., I couldn’t take it anymore.

I pulled on my cloak and stepped outside, letting the night wrap around me.

The garden glowed under the moonlight, quiet and silver–streaked. Flowers wilted in the cold. The breeze smelled like rain.

I saw him before he saw me.

Andrei sat on the edge of the old stone bench near the rose trellis. A bottle dangled from one hand. The other dragged across his face.

He looked like hell.

His tie was loose. His shirt was wrinkled. His eyes were glassy with drink and grief.

He muttered something I couldn’t hear, then tipped the bottle back again.

I should’ve turned around.

But I didn’t.

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I took one step closer.

And that’s when he saw me.

His head snapped up. “Natalia?”

My heart stopped.

He blinked. Hard. Then staggered to his feet, bottle slipping from his hand and shattering on the stones.

“Natalia,” he said again, like he couldn’t believe his eyes.

I backed up instinctively, but he reached out and grabbed my hand.

“You came back,” he breathed. “You–how are you–God, don’t go-

He pulled me in, his voice rambling. “I thought I lost you. I thought I’d have to live with it forever. And the baby-

I wanted to meet him. I wanted to teach him how to ride. To shift. I wanted

I closed my eyes.

It hurt more than I expected. I pulled my hand free gently.

He stumbled, nearly falling.

“Andrei,” I said softly, “you’re drunk.”

“Maybe,” he whispered. “But I still see you.”

His fingers grazed mine again. “I see you.”

I shook my head. “I’m a ghost,” I said to him, hoping he’d believe it.

His face crumpled.

I turned to go.

“Natalia, wait-”

And then-

“Darling?”

Lilith’s voice.

I froze.

It came from the edge of the path, soft and echoing like a threat wrapped in lace.

Andrei turned, confused.

I vanished into the hedge before he could say another word.

I crouched low, heart hammering, and watched.

N

Lilith walked to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” she murmured. “You’ll catch cold.”

Andrei swayed.

She pulled him in tighter, her lips brushing his ear. “I’ll never leave you again,” she promised.

He didn’t answer.

But he didn’t pull away either.

And in that moment, I knew.

The person he couldn’t let go of wasn’t me.

It was her.

日

In this chapter, Natalia confronts the painful reality of her own disappearance, grappling with the symbolic death she must embody to protect herself. The quiet funeral, shrouded in secrecy and sorrow, highlights the deep wounds left in the lives of those she once held dear. Her encounter with Andrei, raw and fraught with unspoken grief, reveals the lingering connection between them, even as the shadow of Lilith’s presence looms large. The emotional tension between love, loss, and deception weaves through every moment, underscoring the complexity of their intertwined fates.

Despite the heaviness of farewell and the illusion of finality, Natalia’s story is far from over. The chapter closes with a bittersweet acknowledgment of the bonds that endure beyond appearances—of hearts caught between truth and pretense, longing and resignation. It’s a poignant reminder that even in the silence of absence, the echoes of love and pain continue to shape the paths they must walk, each step heavy with what has been lost and what remains unseen.

The next chapter promises to delve deeper into the tangled web of emotions and loyalties that bind Natalia, Andrei, and Lilith. As Natalia grapples with her ghostly existence and the painful realization that Andrei’s heart may no longer belong to her, readers will witness the subtle yet powerful shifts in their relationships. The quiet funeral, meant to mark an ending, instead becomes the backdrop for new beginnings and unresolved tensions, leaving Natalia—and us—wondering what truths will surface when shadows are finally confronted.

Expect an exploration of the fragile lines between love, loss, and betrayal, where every glance and whispered word carries weight. Natalia’s encounter with Andrei in the moonlit garden is only the beginning of a series of emotional reckonings that will challenge her resolve and force her to confront the ghosts of her past and present. Meanwhile, Lilith’s presence looms large, her intentions as enigmatic as ever, hinting at conflicts yet to unfold beneath the surface calm. The next chapter will pull you further into this delicate dance of power and passion, where nothing is as simple as it seems.

Sara Lili

Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.