He Knows the Door to My Soul and Who Forgot to Novel 18

Lilith finds herself painfully reminded of Natalia when Andrei murmurs Natalia’s name in his sleep, revealing his lingering attachment even in unconsciousness. Despite this, Lilith convinces herself that Natalia is gone for good and that Andrei’s grief is temporary. She believes that she is the one who has truly stayed by Andrei’s side and will remain with him in the future.

However, Lilith harbors a dark secret: she orchestrated the attack that supposedly killed Natalia, hiring mercenaries to make it look like a rogue ambush. Although a mutilated body with Natalia’s ring and scarf was found, Lilith feels uneasy because the mercenaries disappeared without a trace, and no full confirmation of Natalia’s death ever came. She questions why she didn’t see the plan through herself and why she trusted fate to finish what she started.

Despite the uncertainty surrounding Natalia, Lilith is determined to secure her place with Andrei by offering to give him another child, hoping this will solidify his loyalty to her. She spends the night beside Andrei, who is still recovering from his grief and intoxication, providing him comfort and care through the night.

When Andrei wakes before dawn, he is groggy and distant, showing polite but detached gratitude for Lilith’s presence. Their interaction is strained, with Lilith feeling the emotional distance between them but insisting her care is genuine. They leave Damon’s territory quietly, and Lilith later visits Andrei’s mother, who coldly reminds her that Natalia still holds the title of Luna, even in death, underscoring the lingering presence of Natalia in their lives.

Chapter 18

LILITH

He murmured her name in his sleep again.

It came out like a prayer, soft and slurred, tangled in breath and wine. “Natalia…”

I froze where I stood beside the bed, the towel still in my hands, dripping with the water I’d used to wipe his fevered brow. The room smelled of alcohol and crushed flowers, and the moonlight painted pale stripes across his bare shoulders.

Even unconscious, he reached for her.

Even in his dreams, he wanted someone else.

I forced a smile onto my lips and returned the towel to the basin. No matter. This was temporary. He’d drunk more than usual–grief and guilt mixing into something toxic–and I’d simply been there to catch him when he fell.

Natalia was gone.

That was all that mattered.

He could grieve her now, if he needed to. Mourn what might have been. But grief would pass. It always did. And when it did, I would still be here.

Because I had never left him.

Because I had always been the one meant to stay.

Y

Still… I couldn’t help the itch at the base of my spine. That creeping, simmering thing I hadn’t been able to shake since Damon returned with the corpse.

The “body” had been unrecognizable. Mutilated beyond identification. But it had her ring. Her scarf. A few personal effects. Enough to satisfy the Council. Enough to pacify Andrei.

But not me.

I had arranged for the attack myself. It hadn’t been hard to pay off a few desperate rogues. They were to impersonate Andrei’s men, run Natalia off the road, and disappear into the sea. I’d even sent them to Damon’s land to make sure she was gone.

No matter what had happened, Andrei would assume it was a rogue ambush. That his enemies had taken her.

But confirmation had never come.

The mercenaries I hired vanished. No report. No proof.

It wasn’t until Damon surfaced with a corpse and Natalia’s ring that the world began to move again.

Still, some part of me wondered: why hadn’t I seen it through myself?

Why had I trusted fate to finish what I started?

Because she was dead now.

She had to be.

ய

And even if Andrei mourned her, it wasn’t really her. It was the child. His first heir. That’s what he was truly grieving.

If I could give him another…

If I gave him the next child, the next Alpha, the next Luna, the future he would finally see where his loyalty belonged.

Tonight would be the first step.

I pulled the covers over his shoulders and slipped into the bed beside him. He didn’t stir. His breath was deep, slow. I laid there quietly, watching the moon drift across the ceiling.

By morning, he would remember this only in fragments—warmth, comfort, the sense that someone had cared for him through the worst of it.

He would wake, and I would be there.

***

He woke just before dawn.

I felt the moment he stiffened beside me. His muscles tensed. His arm withdrew.

“Andrei?” I said sleepily, turning toward him with carefully blinking eyes. “You’re awake.”

He stared at me. Groggy. Confused. And then–regret passed across his features like a shadow.

I sat up slowly, brushing my hair from my face. “You drank too much last night. You were in the garden. I found you–half frozen and muttering things I didn’t understand. I couldn’t leave you like that.”

He sat up and rubbed his temples. “Right.”

“You don’t remember?”

“I remember enough.”

He swung his legs off the bed and stood.

I slipped out of the sheets, wrapping a robe around myself. “You were hurting. I wanted to help.”

“Thank you,” he said politely.

Polite.

Detached.

Choptera

My chest tightened. “You don’t have to act like it was something more.”

He gave me a glance I couldn’t read.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” I added quickly. “I only stayed because I care.”

He nodded once, but didn’t say anything more.

We left Damon’s territory for Moonshadow lands without breakfast.

***

I had tried talking with him about rescheduling our engagement party in the car, but was met with silence.

I went to his mother the next morning.

She was in the greenhouse, pruning roses with the same careful disdain she applied to everything.

“Luna Susan,” I said, smiling as I stepped onto the cobbled path.

She didn’t look up. “I’m not Luna anymore. That title still remains with Natalia. Even in death.”

ם

The chapter delicately explores the fragile intersection of grief, loyalty, and unspoken desires. Lilith’s quiet presence beside Andrei, even as he clings to memories of Natalia, reveals the complexity of love shadowed by loss and the tentative hope for a future that might yet be reclaimed. The emotional tension lingers in the spaces between their words, underscoring the pain of what has been lost and the tentative steps toward what might be.

Despite the weight of sorrow and the ghosts of the past, the chapter closes on a note of endurance and quiet determination. Lilith’s resolve to remain by Andrei’s side, to be the constant in his fractured world, speaks to the enduring strength of commitment even when love is complicated and uncertain. It is a poignant reminder that healing is a slow process, marked by patience, presence, and the courage to face the shadows together.

The next chapter promises to delve deeper into the complex emotional landscape between Lilith and Andrei, as the fragile threads of their relationship are tested by grief, guilt, and unspoken desires. Lilith’s quiet determination to remain by Andrei’s side despite his lingering attachment to Natalia sets the stage for a tension that feels both inevitable and heartbreaking. Readers will be drawn into the subtle power struggles and the delicate dance of closeness and distance, wondering how much more Lilith can endure before the cracks begin to show.

Meanwhile, the shadows of doubt and suspicion that haunt Lilith hint at unresolved mysteries that could unravel the carefully constructed facade around Natalia’s death. The unanswered questions about the mercenaries and the true fate of Natalia add a layer of suspense that will keep readers on edge. As alliances shift and secrets threaten to surface, the next chapter will explore how far each character is willing to go to protect their version of the truth—and what sacrifices they might make in the process. Expect a chapter rich in emotional complexity and subtle revelations that will deepen the intrigue and set the stage for even greater conflicts ahead.

Sara Lili

Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.